Thursday, May 30, 2013

Are You Ready? (28 May, Week 1, Transfer 8)

Well if I do say so myself...I am a pretty dang good guesser:)  YES- I am with Hna Lythgoe again and we are whitewashing Vista!  This is my 3rd time whitewashing- and I like whitewashing because you get a fresh perspective on the area and the people and everything- but this time is probably the most difficult time.  That would be because our attention is being pulled in a million different directions!  We've been here exactly a week and already we have gotten lost countless # of times, we already had one set of exchanges and we have another one tomorrow, our brains are conflicting all of the time from thinking about the needs of our missionaries that we are over and how we can help them and also getting OUR area up and running gaining the trust of the members, learning the streets, finding new investigators, PREPARING FOR A BAPTISM we have on Saturday.  Yup- just imagine two very tall (compared to mexicans at least) chickens running around with their heads cut off.  That would be Hna Lythgoe and I this past week...and actually probably will continue into the weekend:)

But I love it.  Being companions with Hna Lythgoe is great. It brings back lots of memories from the MTC and it's cool to see how very far we both have come.  However, we do missionary work very differently.  We decided that we are at opposite ends of the missionary spectrum- I'm on one end and she's on the other. We are both Very Effective missionaries, we just work in very different ways- and we also decided that we are both very unique- there aren't any other Hnas that are like us- which is just really cool to see. Especially because we are now in this STL position.  It will be very interesting and cool to see the results of our work together. I think President did it on purpose actually:)  It will take work, but we are both ready for that!

I don't think I've ever felt so tired on the mission though- and part of it is becuase we have the worst beds in the world.  Seriously- no exxageration.  BUT- we are getting new ones today. Apparently the missionaries in this apartment have been complaining about that for a while and when we called the office they finally gave in and are buying new ones. So haleluea (Sp?)!!!

So Mom, I know you had some questions about what I do as an STL- basically we just go on a million exchanges( one of us stays in our area and one of us goes to another area and the the companionship we are working with splits us too and one stays and the other goes) and help the other hnas with all of their missionary skills.  It's fun- and it will defeinitely keep us on our toes!

I got to go back to escondidio for Maria and Conchita's baptism this saturday. It was great:) Conchita dyed her hair in honor of the occassion and they both wore pure white to the baptism:) It was super cute! 

Mauricio is getting baptized next weekend too, so hopefully I'll get permission to go back for that one too. Love it!!.. 

We have  abaptism this week here in Vista and investigator the hnas have been teaching for a while here before we got here. His name is Alfredo- and he's pretty solid. He's 15 and from mexico:) We are going to see him tonight again and get everything set up for his baptismal interview tomorrow. 

I also just found out that JOSE (Iris' son and Andrea's brother) is getting baptized this saturday!!!!!! Oh I almost burst into tears when I heard that! I am just so happy for that family! I just love them to pieces!  I won't be able to go back for that one becuase it is on the complete opposite end of the mission:( Sad, but they are going to send me pictures!

I feel like I am racing through this email- so sorry for all the miss types.  It just dawned on me that in one week (june 6th) I will hit my one year mark.  um  CRAZY!!! Where does the time go? 

Well, I am glad to hear that all is well.  I love you all. The church is true.  Ali- that was scary about per....I hope all is well. Katie and Gma Stones are also in my prayers as well.  Also- I don't mind in the slightest if hank is born on June 6th:) ( my year mark).
The mission is great- I hope you all have a great week!  Until next week!! 

Dang- I ran out of time to tell you about a funny story that happened this week. I sent thie picture as a be preapared for it next week!  Love you all:) 

Monday, May 27, 2013

Me Voy! (21 May, Week 6, Transfer 7)


This week has been the craziest of my mission.  I am getting transferred today...and I am just plain sad about it.  This has been such a great area FULL of great people and miracles.  I am thinking that I will probably be companions with Hna Lythgoe (she is an STL now too) and that we will be whitewashing Vista.  That's my prediction. But  we shall see in about 5 hours.  Still have to pack.  Hate packing, but that's life.  We were literally RUNNING to every appointment we had this week.  We had an abnormally large amount of lessons this week and it was great!  Progression is happening!

Alfredo's baptism was pure joy.  Everything went smoothly and we had great attendance and the spirit was SO strong!! hna Sheffield and I sang How Great Thou Art  a cappela and Alfredo told us that we made him his eye that is fake! he said that just doesn't happen, ever.  :) But he was just so happy and elated to be baptized!  I truly love him with all of my heart.  Last night we had an FHE at a member's house with him and it was really hard to say goodbye. Everyone was crying and Alfredo told me that if he dies before I see him again that he'll never forget me... That was when I lost it. He's been really worried about his health lately.  He told us that when we met him he was so depressed and feeling so horrible that he was seriously considering not going to dialysis anymore (which cleans your blood of all impurities because your body can't do it by itself anymore.  He goes 3 times a week and it takes about 3 1/2- 4 hours for it to finish). Which would in essence be killing yourself.  But that everything changed when we knocked on his door and that his life has only been for the better and will never be the same again!  The doctors tell him that he has a life span of 5 years left, but that it is unpredictable. He told us he was worried that he would die before he was able to be baptized...oh I love him!  When he said that my heart just wrenched to leave.  I never imagined being transferred in the mission would be so dang difficult.  But it is.  Or maybe I just get too attached...but at least I'm doing it with all my heart right?  Better that the alternative:)  Anyway- Sunday was just a joyful day at his baptism!

Hopefully I'll be able to return back here this Saturday for Maria and Conchita's Baptism and the Mauricio's the following week.  If I am in an 'adjacent area' on the map to escondido then I can come back. If not then I won't get permission;(  There is also a change that I could get moved to San Marcos  (which is in the same ward here, but a different city) because pres is taking the elders out of that area and whitewashing sisters in it because it is struggling. So that is possible as well. But we'll see. It's really all up in the air.  Hna Sheffield is nervous to be the one staying in the area when so much is going on. but she will do great- she knows how to get everything done and how to be a good missionary- she's ready for this.  :)

Cami and SHANE!  Congrats on the decision and the job move to TX - how exciting! I didn't get Shane's email but I gleaned from the emails of others what was going on! What city in Texas? Is it close to the Harts? Just curious:)

Jami- Ella's hair is quite...well I'm not really sure....Short. And interesting...:) What a little stinker. That is fun that your jackets are selling on Etsy! hopefully you will build up a big clientelle (sp?)- that would be so fun and great. Hope you have fun wil the Kusileks this weekend on your camping trip!

Al- That is one pregnant belly!  Are you ready for the little guy? Feliz Cumpleanos a WADE!!!!

Katie- Let me know how the  surgery goes- your in my prayers!   Love you

Mom- quilts . Who are the new girls in RS? and won't they be leaving to a singles ward soon anyways? Sad to hear ab out Gma Stones, but glad to hear that she is getting all the help that she needs.  She's in my prayers too! 

Dad- That's some big news bout JROTC daddio.  But I'm glad.  That'll be good for the family and for everyone's health:) 
Tara- I love you, but I am out of time! Tell the kids I say Hey!
I just read my letter from president this week...and I'm pretty sure I'm going to Vista. 

Love you all- Have to run and clean the car and then finish backing and print pictures all before 3pm.   Mucho Amor!!!!

-Hna Whicker

Here are some pics from the baptism. He's not smiling only because he's a mexican...silly. But he really was so happy:) The other one is of us and Mauricio- the 17 year old that is going to get baptized in 2 weeks!  

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Peace & Blessings! (14 May, Week 5, Transfer 7)

How lovely it was to see all of your faces this last Sunday!! It was just great:)  Hermana Montecinos arrived just after we hung up, so I was bummed that you didn't get to meet her, she is just a cute little gem and a fireball when it comes to missionary work.  But that's okay, just know that she is great:)  

Well I don't have a whole ton to say...because we just talked:)

I Can't believe how fast time is passing by.  I think I realized on Sunday when I was talking to all of ya just how 'close' real life is.  December is going to come SO fast- and I still have lots to do here! It was just a wake up call of how I need to treasure every moment and get to work!  I love being a missionary!!  Plus it was really nice just to see everyone and talk to all ya'll.  

Alfredo is doing GREAT!  he made asparagus soup for us last night, and it was sooo good!  He is super excited for his baptism on Sunday and is going to get a blessing tonight for his health condition, because he has been feeling extra exhausted and 

As we were eating dinner with him last night, his roommate, Chris, came in and starting asking us questions about the church and Alfredo just got SO excited! Chris is going to come to our next lesson with Alfredo and Alfredo just LOVEs that! After Chris left and we were still eating dinner, Alfredo turns to us and just smile, but then he says, "But don't forget, that you came here for me:)" haha- he is so funny.  We originally found him looking for one of his other roommates that we contacted but Juan didn't want anythign to do with us, but ALfredo did:) So he always says that even though we came for Juan, Heavenly Father knew that we were going to find Alfredo. He's just so great!  His baptism will happen this Sunday at 3pm! He's also given us 2 of his family members to go and visit, so we will do that this week!  

We also set a baptismal date with Mauricio, who is about 17 and has come to church twice now and LOVES it. He is getting baptized june 2nd.  We are excited for him too- he is a good kid!  

And Maria will be getting baptized the 25 of April. We are hoping that that really will happen....she has been having issues with Coffee lately...which is not good.  She's super solid on everything else, she's just got to DROP it. And we are struggling with how to help her.  She needs our support, but she works 30 minutes away and lives there Mon-Fri so we only see her weekends.  We have been calling her like crazy though and keeping her accountable and excited for next Saturday.  So if all goes through (which I'm pretty sure will) we have 3 solid baptismal dates- one baptism every weekend for the next 3 weeks!!! So SO Exciting! I'm so excited for ALL of them:)  I just love them so much! Miracles are happening!!!!!!!!

We will find out about Transfers this Saturday- so there is a very good chance that this will be my last week here in Escondido:(  Which makes me VERY sad. i Love this area. And Miracles are happening...and I'm just not ready to go yet!  But, I will go wherever the Lord sends me and needs me!

Cami! We are excited to hear what the final destination will be!  Sometimes I'm secretly glad that I  get told that I have to move (be transferred) instead of make that decision myself..:)  Are the kids excited to go? or are they sad? And when will this move be happening? This summer? This fall/ winter?  Details please:)

Tara- glad to hear that you made it home safe:) and that all is well with the Hart family:)  

Jame- nope, I don't have any problems with pollen thankfully!  Fun that Addie and the girls will get to start a swim class:)  I'm sure they will Love it, especially since they already live in their bathing suits anyway huh?:)

Al- super pregnant:)  Are you excited?  little Hank Thomas soon to arrive! Can't wait to meet the little guy in December!

Mom- I'm so glad that you are doing better! Reactive hypoglycemia huh?  That sounds like a mouthful...I hope you can get everything under control and know how to deal with all of that:)

Kate- I hope you are feeling better and can finish out the school year strong! Or did you already finsih? I think you still have a week left or something...

Daddio- how is your leg doing? Haven't heard anything about that in a while.  So I assume that no news is good news?:)  

I think that it is hilarious that you all wore the same color to CJ's wedding without even thinking about it and then I ended up wearing the same color when I talked to you on sunday:) love it. We are most definitely all from the same family!!! 
Sorry everyone that my English was so funny...whoops:) I guess it's a good thing- that my brain is working in spanish mode...but often times I feel like I can't speak any language!!  but glad you could still understand me:)  

Well I love YOU aLLLLLLLLL!!  Hope you have a GREAT week:)  Here are a few pics attached:)  


Love Hna Whicker

Scary (7 May, Week 4, Transfer 7)

Mom!!  Dad's email was the first one that I read, and it scared me!! do they know why that happened? They ruled out a stroke, but still don't have an answer? This is not the news I wanted to hear...but I am glad to hear that you are okay. But this is scary stuff!!  Please keep me updated!! So glad Jami could go down and help you out for a few days. You will definitely be in my prayers Momma!

This week has been a great one here. Alfredo came to church and LOVED it! Seriously- he is probably the most prepared man to receive the gospel that I have ever met!  Every time we go over he says "Feliz Dia! Mis angeles han llegado" or Happy day, the angels have arrived!  He has the best heart and I just love him.  He has a firm baptismal date for May 19th- so not this Sunday but the next.  He reads in the Book of Mormon everyday even though it is hard for him to see and he just feels the spirit so strongly every time we are there. he also cam e to a baptism on Saturday and he just felt the spirit so strong!!!! He is so prepared and we just love him sooooo much!!!

Maria also is progressing.  Hopefully she will make her date of being baptized on the 25th of may- she is ready and she knows it's true, she just is slow to take the step.  But things have improved with her and we are expecting her to make that date! Although there is a good chance that I won't be here for her baptism, because that is the Saturday after transfers.  And as Hna Sheffield and I both arrived here at the same time b/c we whitewashed in, and the fact that new missionaries stay in their training area after their trainer leaves...means that the odds are pointed at me to get transferred.  And really we don't know what will happen, I could stay, but we will just have to wait and see!  

Our other investigator that had a baptismal date, Tadeo,  decided to move in with his other daughter....who unfortunately lives in Las Vegas!!! We were sooo sad! He was excited to be baptized, but it was a difficult situation and had to go.  Then after a month there he will return to mexico- at which date we will send the missionaries there rapidamente!!!   We were sad to see him go:(  

Can I just say how excited I am to see EVERYONE on the webcam this Sunday????!!!!!  Seriously can't wait!  I am a little jealous that all of my sisters and mom (and you too dad:) are going to be together without me, but that's okay, it'll happen all over again this Christmas:)!!

For Everyone's information and so there is No confusion here's the deal:
-Sunday May 12th
-4 pm Utah time (3pm Cali time)
-Google Plus
-We have about 50 minutes to chat b/c Hna Sheffield's fam will be on at 4pm

Weather here has been good. WE've had a few hot days (mid 90's) and also a few rainy cold days this week, so we are getting extremes, but it's nice:)  

How's Katie doing after her surgery? Has she felt a difference in her pain level yet?

Well this week is Hna F's birthday (she is one of the sisters that we live with that does English work). She will be 20- so we are going to try and have a 30 minute party with cake after nightly planning on Thursday.  We are trying to make it something special because she has been having a hard time staying happy here on the mission.  She is the same age in the mission as Hna Sheffield (both 19 year olds). It's been interesting to see the difference in the younger missionaries.  They just struggle more emotionally I think (that is, unless you are Hna Sheffield;) Seriously, that girl has no emotional issues whatsoever:) and they miss their family more because they haven't ever been away from home this long and everything is just harder for them.  I think there is good reason they decided to start having "sister Training Leaders" now with all the younger missionaries, because they all need the extra support and help to get going in missionary mode faster.  I am very grateful that I don't have trouble staying happy. I mean obviously, we all have our moments, but generally I love it here and I love the people and I am so happy:) I miss you all of course, but I know I'm gonna see you so soon:)

Oh mom- I got the tennis shoes and the popcorn! Thanks:)  And Tara- I got the kids' letters, they were fun:)Thanks! Cam - I also got Cade's letters:) Tell all of the kids i will write them back soon!
Jam- tell Addie to make me some of the "Best Lemnade I hav evr tastid" when I get back okay? ;)  

Time's up!!! Love you all!  See you soon! 

Love, hna Whicker

Can you Say Golden...??? (30 April, Week 3, Transfer 7)


We picked up a new investigator this week named Alfredo ( the sauce). Basically he is awesome!!!!  We went to his house looking for someone else, but instead we found Alfredo. WE couldn't go in to teach him because there wasn't a woman home, but we went back the next day with a member.  not gonna lie, I was a little worried at first because when we went in for our lesson we asked him some questions and he said he was unsure and hesitant to let us in because of all the perceived 'rules" in the not being able to come into the house without a woman (but then being able to come into it when there were 3 women...) Anyways, I was a little nervous to start off on the wrong foot, but it turned into a BOMB lesson.  The spirit was SO strong!  And Hna Sheffield and I probably taught together the best we ever have. The whole time he kept saying things like, " I feel this normal?" "Do you always have this feeling with you? It's like tingling my arms and my ears!" Oh man- he was feeling the spirit so strongly and immediately accepted a baptismal date!  Then the next lesson we had he had bought us pizza and he kept saying the same kind of things about the spirit!.  Then as we left he said, "I know you are called of God!  When are you coming back again?"  It was sweet!! Love him!  He is getting baptized soon as he comes to church 3 times.  He couldn't come this weekend b/c he was going to Tijuana but is already excited to come next week!  The other cool part is that he is partially blind (we have a knack for finding blind people to teach) due to only having one eye and bad vision in the other. So the first time we knocked on his door we left him with a pamphlet to read, and he said he'd try to read it but that it would be really hard. But when we came back, he proceeded to tell us how this weird thing happened, that he sat down to read the pamphlet and before he knew it he had finished it completely and his eye didn't hurt one bit! Miracle!!!!! We love it!

Other than that our family that we have been teaching dropped was really sad:(  But, it was okay because as we walked away we knew that we had done ALL that we could have done.  There was some serious spiritual power in that lesson and she simply denied it...mostly due to fear and confusion. She just couldn't take that leap of faith- because she felt like she had been let down so many times before.  I definitely walked away from their home a little heart broken, but they will eventually come around. They just need a little more time to be prepared;)  It is hard to offer people what is so close and dear to you and watch them refuse it.  Of course it hurts, because what you are offering is literally a PART of you. But in the end the Lord has a plan- and someday they will realize what they are missing. 

Mission Leadership Council was great. I had an eye opening moment during it of how much I have changed on the mission.  Of course I am still me, but I am a better me...if that makes sense. More willing to share my opinions, more confident in myself and my abilities, more confident and knowledgeable of the Gospel, and stronger in my testimony. How blessed am I that Heavenly Father gave me this opportunity to grow and to help His Children? So so blessed. 

When I speak to you all in 2 weeks I will be 3 weeks away from my year mark!  Um, THAT my fiends, is CRAZY. Where does the time go?  I am excited to see everyone's beautiful faces though on the webcam!  

Google Plus....Church here ends at 2:30. So we talked to a member about getting to their house at 3pm to do google plus. Which would mean 4pm for you all in Utah. Can you make that work? Because that's really the only option I've got. We have meetings before church, and we can't skip I hope you can make that work!!!

Dad and Mom- none of those are the picture of the temple...sorry. The one I am talking about is just of the temple- no people. And it was taken probably at the beginning of my one of the early  picture groups.  It is looking up at the temple to the sky and at a really good angle...I was pretty proud of it cuz I took it myself:)  but if you can't find it, that's okay.  
Katie- Good to hear that you are getting at least some relief from your pain:)  That is GREAT! Sounds like you had a fun D week too:) 
Cam- so will you know where you are going by the time we webcam? Exciting!
Ali- when is your exact due date again? I can't seem to remember anything like that on the mission...but maybe that's how it's supposed to be:)
Tara-  that is quite the tree...
Jame- I can't believe Addie will be in 1st grade when I get back! That is fun. I got your package this week too!  Thanks for the cool soap and the bobby pins and the lovely letters from you and the girls.  I especially loved that Addie wrote "love, Addie" about 25xs at the end of her letter:)  She must have gotten a little carried away:)

Well, we have cleaning checks today and our roommates...bless their hearts, are not particularly known for their ALL.  So we have some work to do:)  But I love you all!  Thanks for all of your support!  Mucho Amor!

-Love, Hna Whicker

The Lord Knows... (23 April, Week 2, Transfer 7)

EVERYTHING.  And He knows me pretty dang well.

Seriously.  I feel like since I have become a missionary, my tolerance for change has increased GREATLY. And also the amount of time it has taken for me to 'get comfortable' has decreased with each passing month.  I was quite shocked to whitewash train, and although it has been difficult, it has been much easier than anticipated.  I feel like I have gotten more comfortable here in Escondidio quicker than I have in any other area I have served in. That being said, the other day I was thinking about how I really don't want to become complacent- especially with this new ability to adjust and accustom so quickly- and wondering how I was going to keep myself "on it". Well- The Lord knows.  

So, we had interviews with President Cook yesterday and I got some surprising news.  I have been asked to be a "Sister Training Leader". A new role in all missions that is just being implemented due to the increased number of sister missionaries. 

Basically in a mission you have the district leaders (which is one Elder leader of about 6-12 missionaries), Zone Leaders (which is a companionship of elders that are leaders over multiple Districts) and then the APs (assistants to the Pres) which are over all zones and help the pres with everything.  

In the mission now, there will be 3 Spanish Sister Training Leaders (STL) and 5 English STLs. And that number will change/vary depending on how many sister missionaries we have in the mission (currently we have 48 with 4 more arriving this next transfer).  Needless to say I think it will take me a while to get comfortable with the assignment, so that worry I had earlier can just go out the window. I feel VERY unqualified, but it is nice to know that President trusts me... So I guess I am doing alright, even if I don't have fruits to show from my labor. Anyways, basically instead of just going on 1 exchange per transfer I will be going on anywhere from 4 to 5 exchanges and helping train/advise/guide the other Spanish sister missionaries. So it should be fun!  There are some definite things that I myself need to improve on, but hey, I'm a work in progress still!! It explains all of  this better here.  Our first "Mission Leadership Council" will be this Friday.  Wish me luck!!!!

Well all of our investigators are dying off...which is quite sad.  But we seem to have a knack for finding elderly people that are blind/have serious difficulties reading.  Really. It is quite hilarious. We picked up a man named Alfredo who only has one eye.  None of them can ever remember hna Sheffield's half the time when we anwser the phone, they greet us with "Helloooo, Weeeekkairrrrr" and it is hilarious:) Hna Sheffield has started introducing herself as "Hna Sheffer" because that is what everyone ends up calling her anyways. HAhaha- we love it:)  We are going to have to focus on some hard core finding this week to get some new gators!!  Basically we have one solid baptismal date and his name is Tadeo.  We love him lots!  He is probably 70 and has a little cartoonish voice BUT he can read:) Which really makes our job as missionaries so much easier-because really the Book of Mormon is the one that does all of the converting.  We just need to get him to church!  He's totally willing to come, but his kids keep coming in from out of town on weekends and taking him away on Sundays....dumb.  But we are hoping he'll make it for sure this Sunday. 

Funny story: so a few weeks ago when we were still teaching Alfonzo- we were talking about the Word of Wisdom and the Law of Chastity. Probably the FUNNIEST lesson I have ever had on my entire mission. So we have a recent convert with us- who is crazy (she has a heart full of love, but she's a little crazy). So Alfonzo(inv) and Areceli(the RC) start talking about coke and how it is against the word of wisdom. Then Alfonzo's brother, Primitivo, jumps in and starts talking about how coke is of the devil. Then Areceli pipes in with "Coke has human blood in it". (keep in mind that all of these people are elderly and blind and it is just so funny!) Meanwhile I am trying to maintain control in the lesson as well as trying to transition into teaching the Law of Chastity...and THIS is what pops out of my mouth, "Coke isn't against the Law of Chastity!" hHAHAHAHAHAHAhaha!! Hna Sheffield and I just about DIED laughing! it was so funny. 

I just love being a missionary. hard? yes. worth it? undoubtable. There is nothing better in the world that can bring such lasting happiness. And that my friends, is the undoubtable TRUTH!  So blessed we are to have it in our lives. What an obligation we have to SHARE It with EVERYONE! Have you shared it recently??? now's the TIME!

Mom and Daddio and Katia- so glad you survived the yard sail and didn't get blown away!  I can't believe Ally Cope is engaged!  Wow. She is like 2 or 3 years younger than me.  Weird. but that's great for her:)  Funny that she got called to the same mission as cam and then got engaged!  funny. OhI have a favor: Mom in my closet are red tennis shoes. The ones I have here are on their last leg, after running in them every morning for the past 10 months. so if you wouldn't mind sending me those ones that would be just dandy. Thanks!  No rush, just whenever you can/ Also-Dad: on the memory card I sent home there was a picture of the San Diego temple (looking up at it at an angle) and I use that a lot in teaching, but I just gave mine away thinking I could just print another one out, but I realized I sent that memory card home!  So if you could put That picture back on the next memory card I send home?  That'd be great. Thanks! 

Tara- Congrats to Audge on getting into the school! That is a blessing!!!!!!!!!  Love it. You'll have to go out and celebrate or something:) 

Cam- I hope all is well with Adelle's eyelid! Good luck with that:) Love ya too!

Al- sorry about the vomit and Wade being sick. I hate vomit. I Do NOT look forward to that part of motherhood...

Jame- I can just imagine the girls running around in the bathing suits with their fairy wings:) What a sight to see:) Love them and miss them lots!  

Alrighty family- the time has come to an end. I love you all! Hope you have a GREAT week! Bye!
LOve you aLL and miss you ALL

-Love, Hna Whick

Han Sheffield is obessed with taking a million random pictures. The #2 one is of me as we plan. and the first one is me and some FOUL smelling little dried fish thingys that were part of our dinner at a members house....of which I did NOT partake.  Sick nasty.