Wednesday, September 5, 2012

4 Sept 2012--Week 4, Transfer 1

Oh man oh man, Where to start?

This week has been a toughie...let's be honest.  Missionary work is just plain hard!  HArder than I EVER imagined it to be. Some days I just feel like an idiot going up to strangers and trying to talk to them in a language I don't know.  But then other days I just feel elated and can't I want to talk to everyone!  it is quite ridiculous, I just want to be happy all the time and not worry, but ya know it's just not that  easy.  I realized the other day that I get so frustrated with Spanish becuase I ca'nt express myslef the way I would in English.  In spanish I'm just spouting off vocabulary trying to conjugate and simply get the words out, but I just can't express myself with my personality as I would in English and that is SO hard for me!  BEcuase I don't want be fake, but I can't help but feeling fake when that happens!  So silly.  But Imma pushin through!  We had a Zone training meeting yesterday-- and let's be honest I  really didn't want to go becuase I knew we were going to be doing a million role plays and practices and I just just didn't want them to be telling me that I needed to improve because I already knew that I needed to improve in EVerything!  But, we went and it was so amazing! President Cook showed up (which didn't help my atttitude in the moment becuase it's already stressful practicing with your zone leaders watching you every move, but then when your Mission President comes and watches you, the pressure just multiplies by 10!!!).  Anyways he was watching Hermana Kohrman and I practice setting up and giving the First vision "15mph" so that our investigators can really visualize it and internalize it while they hear it.   Anyways, he had just walked over from working with another group (in which he made one of the other missionaries cry...unintentionally, but still she was crying) and started listening to ME giving the first vision. Oh man...stressfulll. But I was trying so hard to block everyone out and just focus on the investigator. So, I finished and I looked up and him-- and there he was standing over me all teary eyed and he just said "perfect".  Um wow.  It was sweet. Not that I am trying to be prideful, but I really needed that vote of confidence right then and there in that moment.  Man I am so greatful for the Spirit and that I get the opportunity to be an instrument in the Lord's hands and have the spirit work through me! 

We had to drop Maria...our one investigator that was progressing.  She knows it's true--oh she knows it! But, she doesn't want to do it without her husband. And her husband is NEVER home. It took us a while to finally get that real reason out of her of why she didn't want to act...but there it is. So we invited her to talk to her husband and explain why this is so imprtant to her and that she wants to move forward together, but she didn't seem to enthusiastic about it. We were really bummed...but ya know everyone has their agency.  We are going to continie to stop by and see how's she's doing every once in a while, but we're not teaching her anymore:( 

We had a Saweet experience yesterday though.  We had just parked and were getting out of the car to walk a few blocks to our appt's house and this girl passes us just was I open the door. She was walking real fast so I quickly said hey how ya doin? and she hesitantly turned and said hello. Long story short, her name is Estera and she is from Romania- and she had made the desicion THAT VERY DAY that she needed to make some changes in her life, and then we stopped her and talked to her.  Then she asked us if we had a Bible for her to read, so we started talking about the BOM and it was aweseom.  We only had one in Span thoughUm, can we say GOLDEN INVESTIGATOR?? Yes, yes we can.  Except she doesn't speak Spanish. Bummer. So we had to turn her over to the english elders!  But that's okay, becuase we are going to find someone just like her that speaks spanish, and it's gonna be sweet. IT gave me the motivation to talk to everyone becuase we really just don't know who has been preapared and whop hasn't! 

Mom- I got you package yesterday:) Thanks for the 72hr lit supplies and the scripture covers, they are great!!  Sorry that you are sick!  Man, that is no fun at all.Congrats to Brin on your baptism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   That is sweet that you guys got to go to Brin's baptism on Saturday!  How hilarious that it was in Devil's lake!! Funny funny;)

Cami- that is hilarious that Brinly and Cade both started crying when the bus passed them, thinking it forgot to pick them up!  hahaha so so cute:)  Yes Tara- I got your letter from Florida, but I got it like 2 weeks after I had already been here in CA.  You sent me the link to some movie clip on, but I just don't have enough time to watch it, so sorry:(  Jami- Addie and Ella are such a hoot.

Oh man, 1 minute left! Love yyou all!!! I am doing well, just growing and becoming the missionary the Lord wants me to be ! Love you lots!!

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